Waiting and the Unknown.....

Mom keeps urging me to write how I'm doing through this whole thing, but I will warn you, I'm not the writer she is.
I'm going to start at the beginning of this whole thing. Last Wednesday afternoon, I left to go to Nebraska for a job interview. Wedensday night is when my dad got sick. My time in Nebraska was great, but it was hard at the same time knowing that my dad was in the hospital and I couldn't be there until Saturday night. For those who don't know, there is an Christian organization called Grace Children's Home in Henderson, Nebraska. They take care of at risk youth and wards of the state. They have a houseparent position open right now that I applied for. I really liked what I saw, and was impressed with how well they run the homes. I had two full days there, then I came back late Saturday night. They told me on Saturday that they would like to have me work for them, if that is where I felt God wanted me to be. I had a layover in Salt Lake City on the way back, and found out from Mom that things were a lot worse than we thought. So, for the last five days, I have pretty much lived at the hospital with my mom. It has been really hard having to wait so much, and not knowing what is going to happen in the end...with anything. Sunday morning, I was talking with my mom about this job opportunity and if I should take it. She told me that any time she is faced with this kind of a decision she asks herself "Which would take more faith...taking the job or not taking the job?" On Monday, I called the program director at Grace Children's Home, and told him that I want to work for them, but I have no idea when I would be out there because I don't know what is going to happen with my dad. He told me that was fine, and the would start some paper work going ans we would just have to stay in touch. So I think that means I have a new job, but I have no idea when I can start that new job.
I really don't like the unknown. Every time I ask God "why did you let this happen now?" I hear Him say "because it takes the most faith. Trust Me". I'm finding out with all this waiting that it is hard not to trust God with what is going on....because I can't do anything else. I can't do anything to help my dad get better except for praying and trusting in my wonderful, loving Savior to do what He does best. I've said before, that dad is in God's hands...the best place he can be. God will do what brings Him the most glory. I have learned this through other difficult times, and it is just as true in this situation as it was then. That doesn't mean I stop praying for healing or anything. It just means, I know that God knows what is best even if that will hurt me for a time being. He is good, and that will never change.
I love my dad a lot. Growing up he would tell me "If all the Rosannas in the world were lined up, I would still choose you." I would sometimes roll my eyes thinking, "right, like there's that many rosannas and they would never all be lined up". But it was his way of telling me how much he loved me. I know that my dad is a believer, and no matter what happens I will always have the comfort of seeing him in heaven again. We are only here for a short time, and my dad's time here on earth has obviously blessed many of you. That is his testimony to his Creator and Savior. I hope he will have more time here to bless us and all of you some more, but we just don't know what will happen. Keep praying, and trust that God knows what He is doing.
There is a song that I want to leave you with. It keeps poping into my head, so I think I should share it with you.

"Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth


~Rosanna (Robert's daughter)